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The source of prosperity and success in relationships.


After being around for a while in this environment and others, I must admit that after falling victim/culprit to this flaw, I owe you the wisdom and experience learned from it and set the “record” straight, and hopefully you will reflect on it for the better of you and your relationships.

Additionally, having recently read a great book that touched expertly on this topic, I took it as a sign to share it with you.

Every single on of us, without exception, has a relationship with either our parents, progeny, siblings, significant others, coworkers, supervisors, friends, and so forth—right? Yet, not matter how pleasant some are, it can be very tiresome, draining, unfulfilling, or simply very miserable when they break down. And unfortunately, this can occur anywhere and to anyone, are you with me?

Therefore, we must realize, or accept, that we cannot, or should not, change other people. All we can do, or should do, is change ourselves, don’t you think? Secondly, when something someone does seems annoying, the annoyance is not in the thing being done, but in our response to the thing or action. In relationships, the most usual problem is when our egos are “hurt.”

We become annoyed or upset at the “homeboy,” the officer, the co-inmate, or whomever, because their attitude is such that it diminishes the importance our ego has attached to ourselves. We get annoyed at decisions or actions because they do not go exactly the way we, (our ego), would want them to go.

Someone makes impertinent remarks, or even loses his or her temper, and we retaliate—again the retaliation depends on the extent to which the ego feels threatened. The message, then, is that generally annoyance—or the loss of positive demeanor—in any relationship results from a feeling of the ego being threatened where the threat is felt certainly at both the subconscious and conscious level.

Consequently, even when the ego does not feel overtly threatened, human relationships can be improved here and there by deliberately going out of our way to be kind, loving, and helping others, or simply just listening and talking to them in a friendly way no matter how threatening or uncooperative they may appear.

This simply means maintaining a happy and loving disposition within ourselves no matter how others react. This partly comes from self-confidence, but it also comes from feeling relaxed—since relaxation brings with it contentment. Relaxation and annoyance are opposites. You cannot be relaxed and annoyed or angry at the same time.

Hence, the more you practice being relaxed at all times and in all situations, the more content you will be. Sure enough, I could continue this conversation and attempt to bless you with the way I practice to keep myself relaxed at all times, but will conclude with telling you that I am around and at your disposal if you’re interested in this little secret, deal?

Much love and as always, God bless!

Ernesto Cole

The Art of Being Happy

How do you truly become happy? What is the secret to happiness? The Art of Being Happy - Truly Happy.

Happiness is the destiny of the human being. But remember—“It is not happiness in living, but in knowing how to live.” 

The human being has the inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness. With everything, accept your limits, because happiness is in limitation.

“Every human being searches for happiness and this is without exception.” Because of this, keep in mind—“happiness consists principally in loving what is.”

Happiness comes from within, it is up to us. There’s no one that could not cultivate a disposition to being happy if he or she wishes to do so.

To find it, look well. And look within. Because the problem is that, “frequently some of us look for happiness like when we’re looking for the eyeglasses when we have them right above our noses.”

I’ve noticed that each person is as happy as he or she wishes to be. In conclusion and deep down, happiness is nothing more than the continuous efforts to create happiness.

If you are not well, look for someone worse off than you and help him or her. You will both get better.

It is true—“We only make our happiness in being concerned with others happiness.”

Even to make our way towards happiness, always take the longest route.

It is insisted—“there’s no comparable satisfaction to that of making others happy.” Life is like a dice game. If they don’t fall the way we wanted, we must have the art to take the best advantage of how they fell.

And more so, happiness and misfortune ordinarily turn those beings who are already so.

To see without envy the fortune of others and with satisfaction common happiness, is to enjoy being blessed.

That is why, be good—“kindness towards everyone excusing their faults,” is the philosophical rock of happiness.

It’s a shame that we have created men that act like machines and machines that act like men.

Remember—“Pleasure is a mental state—happiness is a prolonged, cheerful state of mind, and more so—We are happy in the exact measure in which we know how to forget.”

Ernesto Cole

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