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10 Secret Tips of Elite Changers
1 Developing Commitment — Wanting to make positive changes is very different from doing what it takes to make those changes.
The majority of us (if not all) want to succeed in this endeavor, as is evident by enrolling in this captivating program, therefore, I could positively assume we are willing and committed to make the necessary sacrifices, become ego-aware with hard work, and dedicated lots of our time and conscious energy to succeed.
That is why only a few are successful at the elite level.
Success must go beyond status quo.
The commitment is what’s going to help us constantly deliver results. This fortitude of character and strength of will is a quality that could be acquired by us all and become elite in our endeavor of change to help us overcome obstacles and beat the odds.
We can generate true commitment through small changes, setting achievable and practical goals one after another.
2. Visualization — Our actions follow our thoughts. This speaks not only to the power of positive thinking and self-belief, but also to the power of visualizing our success.
Studies have shown (and are still showing) that visualization produces the same muscle action as physical activity—the brain gets trained for activity through mental processes.
In many studies, those who use visualization alone improve their skill as much as those actually practicing the skill.
Amazing, don’t you think?
Many athletes use visualization to help them develop and solidify skills and practice their routines before a big event.
Likewise, we can use visualization to help us achieve our goals of not allowing the ego to decide on our behalf.
When practicing visualization, sit or lie in a comfortable position in a place with little or no distractions. Engage as many of your senses as you can, making an image as vivid as possible. See yourself not just achieving your goal of dominating your ego/negative thought, but enjoying the feeling.
Adding just five or ten minutes of daily visualization can help us achieve tremendous progress. Successful people have a tendency to see their future and then live it to existence.
3. Working With Fear — Everyone experiences fear. What will set us apart is our ability to feel that emotion but work toward our goal regardless.
We will not succumb to the inner critic, entertain limiting beliefs, nor negative individuals.
Fear will be a challenge for us, not a threat or defeat, and defeat merely an opportunity for learning we may fall/fail at times but will refuse to stay down. In order for us to succeed, we must take the risk of seeming soft and to take this risk, we must embrace fear and failure.
But guess what? Our desire to succeed will be greater than our fears. Let’s not over-analyze what we’re doing. Let’s just immerse ourselves in the process and “JUST DO IT!”
There are many methods of working with fear and embracing failure. One such method is asking ourselves: “so what?”
What happens if I fail/fall and look soft?
The reality is never as scary as our imagination suggests, and it’s likely that if we did fail/fall, we will learn from it, become stronger, evolve, grow, and do it better next time around.
Additionally, if we did fail/fall, our loved ones (nor ourselves) are not going to laugh at us for attempting the right thing. Life will go on and we will have other chances.
If we do not make our goal of losing X amount of pounds by Y time, the world will not end and we can continue to make progress, right?
Fear is a False Evidence Appearing Real and when learning to recognize when fear is trying to make us small, we will be able to acknowledge it and respectfully continue working toward our goals.
4. Affirmation and Personal Belief — If you let it, doubt can destroy your intentions. We act in accordance with our own self-image, so is paramount for committed change seekers to believe in their own ability and right to succeed.
It is very common in interviews to hear Olympians and world-class athletes talk about their assurance about their ability to win. When you fail to believe in yourself, you create limits to your success.
You must believe to achieve!
Using positive affirmations is an excellent way to work toward self-confidence, self-belief, and owning your deserving happiness and success.
Try to replace your negative self-talk and criticisms with believable positive statements. You can also try creating a mantra you can say to yourself every morning and evening and in times of doubt. I believe that any successful person, including the elite athletes and performers, must dedicate time and energy to work through limiting beliefs.
If you want to achieve the goal of becoming a much more positive individual, you may need to do the same. In addition to plausible positive affirmations and mantras, a journaling practice, can be very helpful.
5. Cultivate Focus — Committed to chance individuals are highly focused on their goals and do not allow for distractions.
Most things come secondary to their goal, purpose, and intent that they create a lifestyle and support system to further their achievement. They have positive a one-track mind and are focused solely on becoming the best persons they can be.
With endless possibilities and opportunities available to us in this environment and all the daily distractions, it can be easy to lose focus on what matters most to us. Let’s take the time to reflect and clarify what it is we desire, what we will need to succeed, the action steps we will need to take, what we may need from others, and what (or who) we will need to give up in order to succeed.
Clarity creates focus, which breeds success.
6. Look For Support — I find it hard to believe of or encounter a committed changer without the help/support of a mentor/coach. Looking for and finding one is the next step to an elite level of change.
A mentor/coach will provide you with direction, advice, and a clear, intelligently constructed behavior program. Mentors/coaches are able to watch and follow your behavior and provide feedback you are unable to provide for yourself.
When you are feeling unmotivated or down, and most of us tend to at times, a mentor/coach is there to keep you accountable. Here in Edgefield are many programs with facilitators that would be more than happy to supply you with assistance.
I can personally vouch for the staff in the Psychology Department, the chapel, and many facilitators of those programs.
7. Practice What You Preach — It is fairly easy to speak nicely and positive, but success comes from the practice, practice, practice aspect of your words.
Whether you dislike putting your ego in check, seeming soft, or feeling disrespected, you must practice what you preach and put a positive perspective on any and all situations that arise if you truly wish to succeed in becoming an elite changer.
Remember, there is what happens and there is what perspective we put on it. We always have a choice and it is up to us (and not the situations or ego) to make it, feel me?
8. Always Keep Learning — Let today’s mistakes be tomorrow’s progress. Committed changers are always developing and honing their skills. The more they know and understand their mentalities, bodies, and egos, the better positive perspective they can give a situation and be much more likely to succeed.
Therefore, let’s read books of self-help and ways to better ourselves every chance we get. If our financial situation is a little tight, the Psychology Dept. and chapel are full of books and videos that can make our time worthwhile in visiting those departments.
9. Hone Your Nutrition and Activity Game — Committed changers know the necessity of a healthy body for the proper function of the mind, thus, they assure themselves a balanced nutrition filled with lots of the most vital nutrient available, water, and an active lifestyle.
Most importantly, proper nutrition is paramount to the success of a healthy endeavor and to succeed as a committed changer, it should not be overlooked. Combine the aspect of a balanced nutrition coupled with clean water and an active lifestyle, and you’re bound to experience successful results in that respect.
10. Create Goal-Supportive Habits — Habits are said to be the things we do without thought, right?
If it is so, the more we can convert to a healthy nutrition and fitness, the controlling/taming of the ego, the clean/respectful usage of speech and thought, the good intentions, and the demonstration of gratitude for the simplest of things, the less willpower we shall require in the future to stay positive and do right.
For the committed changer, following these aforementioned practices of healthy nutrition, working on skill development, visualization… all become habits over long periods of practice and are then logged into their subconscious, and, consequently, they do not spend time or energy thinking about doing the right thing: It’s a given!
In conclusion, comrades, while not all of us may make it to the elite level of changing (or may even want to), we can still benefit dearly from incorporating the practices of those who have… If only to become beneficiaries of the much-alluded-to and acclaimed Law of Attraction!
Success is a wonderful journey, gentlemen, not a destination or goal!
Thank you dearly for your time and attention, and, as always, God bless!
Ernesto Cole
Practice, Practice, Practice!
On a page I was going through, I came across a particular query that has had me thinking and thus, the reason for this essay—since I tend to think better when writing. The question in mention is: Have you ever asked yourself what is your purpose?
Well, the reason this question has affected me so much is because as a foolish youngster, I was quick to respond to it and say proudly that my purpose in life was to be a “thug” till death do me part. And since I did not plan on living very long, it seemed very simple and true to me at the time.
Fortunately, that is no longer my purpose and I have now committed myself on a 180 degree turn around and can now much more proudly and unequivocally say that my new purpose in life is to be at peace and content with myself, others, and surroundings.
Those that know me from the past may say: “he’s just saying that now because he’s in prison serving a couple of life sentences and more, and has no other choice.”
Well, to those naysayers I simply respond that is not the case, since prison is an ideal place to continue being a “thug” since one is surrounded by so many, if not the majority. So, yes, I do have a choice. Not only that, but from the moment I was arrested, I had the option to continue being a “thug,” and get a sweet deal, but chose not to.
Additionally, during my incarceration, the temptations have been many, since vices like drugs, alcohol, gambling, and opportunities to commit immoral and delinquent acts are plentiful. Hence, I thank God for helping me make the right choices and not allowing me to succumb and fall deeper in disgrace.
Now with the aforementioned being clarified, allow me to manifest how I plan to achieve my new purpose.
When this course began, I recited a very personal essay about an experience I had many years ago that finally caught up with me and transformed my life considerably for the better. In that essay, I alluded to how I allowed another person’s action affect and dictate my emotions in a negative way. Then how a very wise, older friend, whom I have since considered a father figure, God bless his soul, gave me one of the best—if not the best, advice I’ve ever received.
In essence this is what he advised me: “Son, under no circumstances allow anything or anyone to affect your emotions in a negative way. Once you allow that you cease control of your emotions and could no longer consider yourself a true man.”
Sure enough, due to my immaturity, ignorance, foolish pride, and ego, I chose not to understand him, did not adhere to his advice, and refused to follow through. Luckily for me, through very harsh occurrences (which were mostly brought about by my ego and foolish pride), many personal experiences, and not so personal experiences—I believe I have found my purpose in life to live at peace and be content with myself, others, and my surroundings.
I credit this accomplishment by seeing and treating life as a game or sporting event. Yes, gentlemen, I now see life as a game and my goal is not only to win, but also to enjoy the journey to its fullest.
Allow me now to explain my analogy between life and a game and how I plan to win. As a kid growing up and participating in various organized sporting events, I was always encouraged and obligated by the coaches to practice, practice, practice. And in that way, make myself a better athlete.
If the sport were basketball—I had to practice my ball handling, passing, shooting, free throws, layups, and so forth.
If it were baseball—I had to train in batting, catching, throwing, sliding, and other things.
If it were soccer—I definitely had to exercise dribbling to get past defenders, passing and receiving the ball, positioning and anticipating where the ball was going, my heading on the ball, and an array of other things to better myself and be successful in the competition.
Now that you most likely get where I’m coming from, in my game of life, I encourage and discipline myself to do the same—practice, practice, practice.
I practice the things that I feel will help me succeed and accomplish my purpose in life by doing the following: I meditate and reflect alone with frequency because it is in true solitude that I really identify and find myself.
I try my best to always think, speak, and act positively—practice the ancient discipline of yoga, along with its eight different branches to help keep me grounded and firm in my purpose.
I try to read good, entertaining fiction and non-fiction books, and when a self-help book falls into my lap, I devour its contents as well.
I challenge my mind constantly by doing very challenging numbered puzzles (sodukus), try to stay away from gossip—and if it finds me, treat it positively and minimally.
I try to socialize only with positive individuals—and when a negative one appears in my path—I run like hell! 🙂
I do my best not to tell lies, and if it’s necessary for one, I prefer to keep my mouth shut.
I try to keep myself, thoughts, and few belongings as organized and compartmentalized as possible. If I have something pending, I follow my dear mother’s advice to do it immediately without procrastination. And if there is nothing I can do about it—I do exactly that—nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean not even worry about it.
I exercise my body in a very intense manner and in doing so, prepare my heart to utilize its oxygen much more efficiently so that my resting heart rate becomes lower and can deal with pumping my blood more adequately—and in this manner, deal much better with stress.
When things do not go my way, I do not take it personal and I accept the fact that it could always have been worse to soften the impact.
I try to never jump to conclusions or make assumptions, since in the past I was wrong most of the times, if not always.
If there is anything I can do for someone less fortunate then I do so without thinking it twice.
I try to be very understanding, respectful, and considerate of others—procure not to engage in arguments or heated discussions, since they rarely, if ever, conduce to anything positive.
If for some reason I come across something that does not belong to me, I return it immediately. And if it is a borrowed item, try to take better care of it than if it were my own.
I also try to always be appreciative and truly say “thank you” for any assistance I receive, no matter how small. And I also make it my duty to never, ever, give bad advice, no matter how tempting.
Dear comrades, although there may be other practices I engage in to reach and accomplish my purpose in life, they seem to have escaped my thoughts for now. But I could not end this section without saying last but never least—a day does not go by without me getting on my knees and thanking the Lord for all my blessings and asking Him for more. Something that those who know me from the past would find extremely difficult to believe, but that is truly the case.
At this moment, my dear friends, please do not misinterpret the aforementioned and think that through such practices I aim to be perfect—never that. But it does imply that when I do “mess up,” I can be humble enough to accept it, learn from it, make amends and therefore, reduce my errors and live a much better and purposeful life.
After this very personal account on how I practice to win in my game of life, I would like to conclude that my aim is not to garner sympathy, praise, nor even your scorn, but simply to encourage all of the participants that have already taken the first step in this beautiful course to continue making the necessary changes in ourselves to be better men, simple as that.
PS—if in the future, we may cross paths and you see that I am not following through on these practices, please call it to my attention—it will be dearly appreciated.
Thank you for your attention and God bless.
Ernesto Cole
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