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emotions

Emotions

Learning self-control, emotions, anger - avoiding recividism, inmate release.

Greetings gentlemen. When I first met Mr Francisco Crespo a couple months ago, he had recently arrived at this facility and was speaking about this workshop project.

I immediately felt his positive vibrations and informed him that, although I was not short on my sentence and thus not eligible, I would definitely like to participate and try to benefit from it – therefore, here I am.

Now aside from benefiting from this workshop, I would also like to contribute to it by sharing an experience that has changed my life considerably for the better, and God willing, you may also benefit from it.

My name is Ernesto Cole, and I was born in Colon, Panama. I was raised in Boston, Massachusetts, and have lived in Washington, DC, several boroughs in New York City, and Miami, Florida.

When I was much younger – about 22 or 23 – and back in Panama, I was a troubled young man. I say troubled because I was indeed a true menace to society and many neighbors labeled me as just plain evil.

But I vehemently refute that assertion and side with my, then, psychiatrist’s diagnosis of me simply being a confused and traumatized young boy craving love, attention, acceptance, and understanding.

Anyway, allow me not to stray from the topic at hand and return to the purpose of me standing here before you. Once I was having a conversation with a wise, older man who was not blood related to me, but who I loved dearly and considered a father, may God bless his soul.

 

While in our conversations, I called over a guy I knew of about my age and asked him to go buy me a pack of cigarettes. when he returned with them, he had opened them and was smoking one of them without my permission.

I asked him who the f@%k (excuse my language) gave him permission to smoke a cigarette and he answered, “What the f@%k, you think I’m going to buy you cigarettes and not take one for myself?”

I immediately punched him in the chin and knocked him down.

My father just as soon grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me against the wall while saying, “What is wrong with you, huh? Why would you hit that boy?”

And I said to him, “What do you mean? Didn’t you hear how he spoke to me? He disrespected me and made me mad.”

My friend responded, surprised at me, “He made you mad?”

“Yeah, the damn fool made me mad!” I reiterated.

“Well, then,” he responded, “if he could make you mad, he could also make you happy, not so?”

I was confused by what he had just said and told him I didn’t know what he meant.

So he said it again this way: “If that so-called fool, as you just referred to him, could make you mad, he could also make you happy and thus control your emotions…

And you have the audacity to call yourself a man?”

And just walked away from me, leaving me more confused and thoughtful.

I’m not going to go into detail of what happened in my life subsequently, but I do wish I had paid more attention and adherence to those wise words – or I’m sure I would not be standing here right now.

Anyway, brethren, I know now exactly what my, now late, father was trying to tell me.

Son, allow no one or anything to alter your mood and demeanor in a negative way. Be a true man by simply always controlling your emotions. It may be easier said than done, but the more you practice doing so with positive thoughts, words, and actions, the easier and more fruitful it becomes.

Thank you for your attention comrades!

Ernesto Cole

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