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attitude

Relationships

The source of prosperity and success in relationships.

Greetings.

After being around for a while in this environment and others, I must admit that after falling victim/culprit to this flaw, I owe you the wisdom and experience learned from it and set the “record” straight, and hopefully you will reflect on it for the better of you and your relationships.

Additionally, having recently read a great book that touched expertly on this topic, I took it as a sign to share it with you.

Every single on of us, without exception, has a relationship with either our parents, progeny, siblings, significant others, coworkers, supervisors, friends, and so forth—right? Yet, not matter how pleasant some are, it can be very tiresome, draining, unfulfilling, or simply very miserable when they break down. And unfortunately, this can occur anywhere and to anyone, are you with me?

Therefore, we must realize, or accept, that we cannot, or should not, change other people. All we can do, or should do, is change ourselves, don’t you think? Secondly, when something someone does seems annoying, the annoyance is not in the thing being done, but in our response to the thing or action. In relationships, the most usual problem is when our egos are “hurt.”

We become annoyed or upset at the “homeboy,” the officer, the co-inmate, or whomever, because their attitude is such that it diminishes the importance our ego has attached to ourselves. We get annoyed at decisions or actions because they do not go exactly the way we, (our ego), would want them to go.

Someone makes impertinent remarks, or even loses his or her temper, and we retaliate—again the retaliation depends on the extent to which the ego feels threatened. The message, then, is that generally annoyance—or the loss of positive demeanor—in any relationship results from a feeling of the ego being threatened where the threat is felt certainly at both the subconscious and conscious level.

Consequently, even when the ego does not feel overtly threatened, human relationships can be improved here and there by deliberately going out of our way to be kind, loving, and helping others, or simply just listening and talking to them in a friendly way no matter how threatening or uncooperative they may appear.

This simply means maintaining a happy and loving disposition within ourselves no matter how others react. This partly comes from self-confidence, but it also comes from feeling relaxed—since relaxation brings with it contentment. Relaxation and annoyance are opposites. You cannot be relaxed and annoyed or angry at the same time.

Hence, the more you practice being relaxed at all times and in all situations, the more content you will be. Sure enough, I could continue this conversation and attempt to bless you with the way I practice to keep myself relaxed at all times, but will conclude with telling you that I am around and at your disposal if you’re interested in this little secret, deal?

Much love and as always, God bless!

Ernesto Cole

Every Place Can Be a Holy Place

Mahatma Ghandi - Life in prison - learning solitude, spirituality, meditation through time alone with God.

We are behind walls in prison. For awhile, we are being punished for our actions. However, we should understand that the place where we are living right now could be made into a perfect place. We came here with all our sins and faults, but when we leave we could be free of all our faults. We could be pure.

In India, there are holy rivers and it is said that if you take a bath in them you become free of sins. In the same way your jail could also be a holy place.

You must have heard of Mahatma Ghandi — who after being militant and then fighting against injustice and for freedom, was put in prison. There he learned the teachings of peace and nonviolence, and came out of prison as a great being who freed India without using weapons.

There was another great leader called Lokmanya Tilak who was imprisoned for writing articles and “instigating” people against the government to “break” the law, and to disturb the “peace.” He was sentenced to a year and a half of rigorous imprisonment and came out a much more enlightened and greater force to be contended with.

The Great Yogi Aurobindo became enlightened practicing yoga, reading the Bhagavad Gita (one of the most sacred yoga scriptures), and meditating while being in total solitary confinement when he was in jail. The composer Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna, was an incarnation of God, and he was born in prison before having to be smuggled out and not be killed by the ruling leaders at the time.

And let us not forget the great Martin Luther King Jr., and Nelson Mandela — who served over two decades in prison while refusing to be released with the condition of compromising his principles and determination.

Therefore, in order to practice spiritual pursuits, people often look for a place that appears like a prison, a place where nobody comes and where nobody will bother them. However, they don’t call themselves prisoners. They call themselves lovers of solitude. If we think very carefully, we will realize that by leading us to prison, God has given us an opportunity to think of ourselves and to remember Him.

In prison, we can lead a disciplined life. We get our food on time. We go to bed on time. We get our clothes on time. And even while living in jail, we can pursue spiritual practice. We can meditate—we can think of our inner self. Hence, let’s not belittle a jail, and make the best of it.

Everything depends on our attitude. If we change our attitude toward a place, then no matter where we are, that place could become heaven for us. If we have full faith in God, then every place, every moment, and every event of our life will begin to feel sublime.

What prison are you living in? What is the value of solitude? What is your attitude? Story on God's goodness - Wisdom from within by Ernesto Cole.
Please contemplate this next story.

Once there was a great prime minister in India who had this kind of understanding. If a parent said to him, “My son has died,” he would say, “Good. Whatever God does is for the best.”

If a woman said to him, “My husband died,” he would say, “Good. Whatever God does is for the best.”

People reacted violently against him. They thought he was crazy and were constantly hatching plots to remove him from power.

One day the king was being shaved by his barber and happened to doze off. While cutting the king’s nails, the barber accidentally cut off the tip of his finger. The prime minister’s enemies thought that this was a wonderful opportunity to teach him a lesson.

They rushed to him and said, “Prime minister, the barber has cut off the king’s finger.”

The prime minister said, “Good. Whatever God does is for the best.”

The prime minister’s enemies went to the king and told him what the prime minister had said. The king called the prime minister into his presence and said, “You fool. You have been eating my food and living on my money, and now you have the nerve to say that it’s a good thing my finger was cut off?” He ordered his men to put the prime minister in jail and give him only dry bread to eat. “Now you’ll see whether what God does is for the best,” he said.

The prime minister sat locked up in his cell and calmly remembered God’s name. He wasn’t upset, and when people would go to visit him and ask him, “How are you?” he would say, “Very good. God has put me here and it is good for me.”

A few days later, the king went off to the forest to hunt. On his way he met a gang of bandits whose leader was a worshiper of the goddess, Kali. The bandit leader needed to sacrifice an important person to the goddess, so he kidnapped the king and dragged him to the temple as a sacrificial offering.

The bandits examined the king thoroughly to see if his body was whole, because only one whose body is perfect can be sacrificed to the goddess. As they examined him, they noticed that the tip of his finger was cut and said, “His body is impure. He is not worthy of the goddess.”

So the king was released. Immediately he realized that if his finger had not been cut he would have lost his head. He remembered what the prime minister had said, “Whatever God does is for the best,” and recognized he had been right.

The king returned to his capital and had the prime minister released from his cell. When the prime minister came before him, he told him what had happened and then asked, “It was good for me that my finger was cut, but was it good for you to have been locked inside this cell, living on dry crumbs?”

The prime minister replied, “Your majesty, if you had not locked me in this cell, I would have gone hunting with you, and the bandits would have grabbed me. They released you because your finger was cut, but they would have sacrificed me because my body is whole. Whatever God does is for the best.”

God's will is best - how to trust in God - is His will truly the best for us?

If that could be our attitude in prison, then prison would be like heaven, not like hell. Our experience of the world depends on our understanding. Because of our narrow understanding, we must be experiencing a lot of pain, but we should realize that it is not only we who are experiencing this pain. We may think that only we are prisoners, but other people are also prisoners. We are in a small prison, but others are in the big prison outside. When will they be released?

All these people are bound by their own narrow understanding and by the noose of their Karma — the consequences of what they’ve done.

A wealthy person is bound by the noose of his wealth. A poor person is bound by the noose of his poverty. An office holder is bound by the pride of his office. A great leader is bound by the noose of his own leadership. And a person in authority is bound by the noose of his own authority.

Everyone who lives in this world is a prisoner.

What about the policeman and guards who are here with us? Of course, they don’t think that they are prisoners, but what do they experience?

What about the jailer who has power over us? Is he happy? We are all in the same place.

So let’s change our understanding. Think that you are a yogi and that you are pursuing your sadhana (inner peace) in this particular place and at this particular moment. Immediately you will experience great joy.

We may have made many mistakes. Because we are between these walls, we remember them. People who are outside also make mistakes, but since they don’t consider themselves prisoners, they forget them.

The difference lies in our understanding. Our entire mental condition is based on understanding that we are prisoners. And because of that understanding, painful thoughts arise and we keep burning within. If we change our understanding, we will be free in a minute. If we develop love for God, then even while living in a prison we could be like a priest.

Become absorbed in the thought of Consciousness — the thought of God, just as you are now absorbed in the thought of being a prisoner. Sit quietly with great peace. Try to know yourself and waves of joy will arise inside you. Experience Consciousness above you, below you, behind you.

Inside there is great divinity. Just as a person absorbed in deep sleep does not experience pleasures or pain—only great peace, so, one who is absorbed in meditation does not experience the pleasures or pain of the outer world. He experiences only the bliss of heaven.

It is with great respect and great love that I welcome you all with my heart. I don’t say this out of sympathy with you because you are in jail. I say this with understanding that God who is in me is also in you. If you direct your attention within, you will discover Him and be transformed.

Ernesto Cole

Head Keeper-Uppers

How do you react? Your character is determined by what you do when you face problems.

Don’t let life discourage you. Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

When you stop striving to get better, you get worse.

You only fail when you never try.

Whatever your lot in life, build something on it.

The only limitations we have are those we acknowledge. Life is a feast, don’t starve yourself.

Don’t plan to fail by failing to plan.

Measure twice, cut once.

Focus on making things better, not bigger.

Live your life in exclamation, not an explanation.

Don’t be something—be someone.

As you go through life, never try to prove yourself—improve yourself.

By the work, one knows the workman.

When the chips are down, yell, “Bingo!”

When life hands you lemons—make lemonade.

Make a home in your heart for the truth and the truth will bring you home.

None are so empty as those that are full of themselves.

Ernesto Cole

The List

What is the greatest thing on earth? What is the best thing you can give? What's the best gift?

The most destructive habit: Worry

The greatest joy: Giving

The greatest loss: Self-respect

The most satisfying work: Helping others

The ugliest personality trait: Selfishness

The most endangered species: Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resources: Our youth

The greatest “shot in the arm”: Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome: Fear

The most effective sleeping pill: Peace of Mind

The most crippling failure disease: Excuses


The most powerful force in life: Love

The most dangerous pariah: A gossiper

The world’s most incredible computer: The brain

The worse thing to be without: Hope

The deadliest weapon: The tongue

The two most power-filled words: “I can”

The greatest asset: Faith

The most worthless emotion: Self-pity

The most beautiful attire: A smile

The most prized possession: Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication: Prayer

The most contagious spirit: Enthusiasm

Ernesto Cole

Attitude

What kind of attitude do you have? Do you complain? Are you a complainer - a gossip? What should you do? Read more from Ernesto Cole.

1. It is the attitude at the beginning of a task which more than anything else will affect its successful outcome or failure.


2. It is our attitude towards life which will determine life’s attitude towards us.


3. We are interdependent and will not succeed without others. Therefore our attitude toward them will determine their attitude toward us.


4. Before a person can achieve the type of life he wants he must first become that type of individual. He must think, act, walk, talk, and conduct himself in all his affairs just as the person he wishes to become.


5. The higher you go in any organization the better the attitudes you will find.


6. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time and since you cannot gain anything from negative thoughts—hold only successful positive thoughts and discard the rest.

7. The deepest craving of any human being is to feel important and appreciated. Give this to them and they will return it to you.


8. Part of a good attitude is to look for the best in new ideas an to look for the good ideas everywhere.


9. Don’t waste your time broadcasting personal problems—negative thoughts can’t help you and they won’t help others.


10. Don’t talk about your health unless it’s good—or if you’re talking to your doctor!


11. Radiate the attitude of well-being and confidence, like one who knows where he is going—and good things will happen to you straight away.


12. For the next 30 days treat everybody you come into contact with as the most important person in the world.

 


“It’s not what happens to me in life, it’s how I react to it.”

Ernesto Cole

Don’t Break the Elastic

Rainy day - what's your attitude when it rains? How do you react? Who's fault is it how your day goes? by Ernesto Cole - Wisdom from Within

In April, May Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70th birthday.

Maya really is a marvel who has led quite an interesting and exciting life.

Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was “exciting.”

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day, like her breasts. “They seem to be in a race to see which one will reach her waist first.”

The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple an honest woman, with so much wisdom with her words.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.


I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands — you need to be able to throw something back.

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Ernesto Cole

The Sculptor’s Attitude

What kind of day are you going to have? How you think dictates your day - read how to have a better attitude - by Ernesto Cole.

I woke up early today excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.

I have responsibilities to fulfill today that are important.

My job is to choose what kind of day I’m going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy… or I can be thankful the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money… or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health… or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up… or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because the roses have thorns… or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends… or I can excitedly embark upon a guest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work… or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school.. or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have housework to do… or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided me shelter for my mind, body, and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am—the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a great day… unless you have other plans.

Ernesto Cole

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