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Relationships

The source of prosperity and success in relationships.

Greetings.

After being around for a while in this environment and others, I must admit that after falling victim/culprit to this flaw, I owe you the wisdom and experience learned from it and set the “record” straight, and hopefully you will reflect on it for the better of you and your relationships.

Additionally, having recently read a great book that touched expertly on this topic, I took it as a sign to share it with you.

Every single on of us, without exception, has a relationship with either our parents, progeny, siblings, significant others, coworkers, supervisors, friends, and so forth—right? Yet, not matter how pleasant some are, it can be very tiresome, draining, unfulfilling, or simply very miserable when they break down. And unfortunately, this can occur anywhere and to anyone, are you with me?

Therefore, we must realize, or accept, that we cannot, or should not, change other people. All we can do, or should do, is change ourselves, don’t you think? Secondly, when something someone does seems annoying, the annoyance is not in the thing being done, but in our response to the thing or action. In relationships, the most usual problem is when our egos are “hurt.”

We become annoyed or upset at the “homeboy,” the officer, the co-inmate, or whomever, because their attitude is such that it diminishes the importance our ego has attached to ourselves. We get annoyed at decisions or actions because they do not go exactly the way we, (our ego), would want them to go.

Someone makes impertinent remarks, or even loses his or her temper, and we retaliate—again the retaliation depends on the extent to which the ego feels threatened. The message, then, is that generally annoyance—or the loss of positive demeanor—in any relationship results from a feeling of the ego being threatened where the threat is felt certainly at both the subconscious and conscious level.

Consequently, even when the ego does not feel overtly threatened, human relationships can be improved here and there by deliberately going out of our way to be kind, loving, and helping others, or simply just listening and talking to them in a friendly way no matter how threatening or uncooperative they may appear.

This simply means maintaining a happy and loving disposition within ourselves no matter how others react. This partly comes from self-confidence, but it also comes from feeling relaxed—since relaxation brings with it contentment. Relaxation and annoyance are opposites. You cannot be relaxed and annoyed or angry at the same time.

Hence, the more you practice being relaxed at all times and in all situations, the more content you will be. Sure enough, I could continue this conversation and attempt to bless you with the way I practice to keep myself relaxed at all times, but will conclude with telling you that I am around and at your disposal if you’re interested in this little secret, deal?

Much love and as always, God bless!

Ernesto Cole

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