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Bad Day – Mother’s Day

What it's really like for prison wives on Mother's Day, and any bad day. The powerless life of a prison wife when it hurts.

Greetings, gentlemen and women all around the world. As Mothers’ Day approaches and the thought of my precious mother along with the thought of my lovely with and beautiful mothers of my children, I could not help but to dedicate a heartfelt essay from an Expository writing I’ve had with me for many years, yet never disposed of it because of its very dear and extremely profound meaning.


Additionally, after witnessing via the phone and visitation many of my co-recluses disrespect and demean their women, I beg of you to take this exposition into dear account and give your women the true value and respect they truly deserve.

And, for those of you who have refused to do the aforementioned, keep up the good work because you will be rewarded in due time, if not already, deal?

Today is a bad day.

I wish I could say that I’ve never had one before, but bad days consume my life.

I have no escape from them.


Today is a day I wonder.

Where is the support for us sisters in the struggle? What a man asks a woman to wait for him while he’s in prison, does he realize what an incredible emotional sacrifice that is? Does he realize that, yes, we’re in the struggle too?


When I made this choice to do this bid with my man, I didn’t know that it would mean to consciously hand over the control and happiness of my life, not to my man, but to an institution. From the very beginning, my man told me I had the Power in the relationship? That I should take the lead because I was the one who was free.


How am I free?

What power do I have?

I buy my clothes according to what is acceptable for visits. At any time I can go where my heart desires, but my heart’s desire is trapped within that prison compound.

So where am I going?

I stalk the mailman and won’t leave the house until he comes; waiting for a white envelope with familiar handwriting that has taken the place of hugs and kisses. I check the phone several times a day to make sure it’s working, waiting to hear it ring and see unavailable appear on the caller ID, a sight that has taken the place of the sound of my doorbell or his car horn. I set my watch to the clocks in prison. I schedule my bedtime around COUNT.

No, I don’t have any power.

The phone company has the power. The mailman has the power. Corrlinks has the power. Father Time has the power. The prison and the guards, they have all the power. Today I feel helpless and out of control. Today is surely a bad day and yes, I am struggling too…


Today, like most bad days that pass, I see a little bit of my life that has slipped away; another memory not made, another dream that hasn’t come true.

One more day my family is separated.

One more day I am without a real home. I am so often standing in the line between sanity and insanity.

I have to keep telling myself, “he’s real, this is real, our love is real, and the end will come.”

Today when he called I had to fight the urge to beg him to come home.

“Please come home, if you really loved me, you would find a way.”

Today I blame him for keeping us apart.

Today I am so very angry with him.

Today is definitely a bad day and yes, I am struggling too…

A good day can turn bad in the blink of an eye, a tick of the clock, or a beat of my heart. I am on an emotional roller coaster that changes its course without warning or consideration for my mental state.

It never asks my permission… attacks of depression, despair, confusion and frustrations hit me and consume me from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head and every crevice of my body in between. Some days I just want to curl up in bed and sleep. Sleep the years away. Some bad days I can’t even sleep or even eat.


Sometimes I even have to make my heart beat and lungs take in oxygen. Suicide is never a thought, but dying of loneliness is always, a possibility. Today I have no answers that make sense for the thousands of questions running through my head. My mind is cluttered with doubts and confusion and this makes my heart heavy with guilt and shame.

How can I question the only real joy in my life? There are so many people who are lonely, without love and passion in their lives, so as difficult as this ordeal is; I know that what he and I share is the most precious of all gifts.


But today I can’t remember all the unconditional love, support, and non-judgment that my man has bestowed upon me. Today I can’t remember all that. My man is the only one who truly understands and accepts me, the good and the bad…

Today, I can’t remember all the passion that my man has brought out of me. Today I can’t remember that the sound of his voice can bring me to orgasm. Today I can’t remember that he plays no games, tells no lies, and wears our love like a badge of honor.

Today is obviously a bad day and yes, I am struggling too… while I wouldn’t change one second, erase one tear, or forget one heartache, I can truly understand why any woman would choose not to wait. The reality is that I am in prison too… I am also doing this time and the only thing I am guilty of is loving my man.

For ever one of us that stands by our men, that can endure the bad days and savor the good, there are many that can’t.

Many just don’t even try. To the men whose women choose to move on, I feel your pain but, you must always remember that there are always two sides to every story.

Your women might not always tell what’s in their hearts, but if you listen hard enough you can hear them. You can hear their confusion and fear pleading with you to understand, to forgive, to accept and to remember…

Not every woman is strong enough to endure the bad days the struggle brings!


To all of you men who know, have, or has had a woman in your life, please communicate with them and wish them a Happy and Blessed Mothers’ Day for eternity and beyond, deal?


Thank you dearly and many, many blessings.

Ernesto Cole

Love Yourself and Love

Love and accept yourself before you can love anyone else.

Do you want to help?

Help yourself first.

Only the loved ones love.

Only the free liberate.

Only the ones that are at peace with themselves are a fountain of peace.

Those who suffer, make others suffer.

Those who are failures need to see others fail.

Those who are hurt show violence.

Those with conflicts create conflicts around them.

Ernesto Cole

Today I Promise

Today what do you decide to do? What kind of friend are you going to be today?

To be strong, that nothing or no one could disturb the peace of my spirit.

To speak of health, progress, and happiness to everyone I meet.

To make my friends feel that there’s something great in them.

To see everything on the noble and beautiful side, making my optimism sincere.

To think of the best and hope only for the best.

To have as much enthusiasm for the success of others as for mine.

To forget the errors of the past and fight for the greater realizations of the future.

To always carry a happy face and have a smile for everyone.

To employ so much time in my improvement that I will not have time to criticize others.

To be big in grief, noble in anger, and strong towards fear, so that my happiness will not be afraid to the presence of pain.

Ernesto Cole

Peace

True inner peace - is it around you?

Peace — it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.

It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

Ernesto Cole

Thoughts on Wisdom

Thoughts on wisdom, common sense, and being clever - how do you reach your goals? What kind of attitude do you need to have? Wisdom from Within - Ernesto Cole

Cleverness is not wisdom.

Every man is a damn fool, 4 of at least 5 minutes every day—wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.

Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

When written in Chinese, the word “crisis” is composed of two characters—one represents danger and the other represents opportunity.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

A prudent question is half of wisdom.

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply for unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.

It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.

Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.

If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome—if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent—if you believe the military, nothing is safe.


Life is traveling to the edge of knowledge, then taking a leap.

The wisdom of the wise is an uncommon degree of common sense.

Virtues are acquired through endeavor, which rests wholly upon yourself.

Wisdom outweighs any wealth.

Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own.

It is the neglect of timely repair that makes rebuilding necessary.

The future has arrived, it’s just not evenly distributed yet.

The truest wisdom is a resolute determination.

Wisdom is knowing what to do next—virtue is doing it.

Ernesto Cole

The List

What is the greatest thing on earth? What is the best thing you can give? What's the best gift?

The most destructive habit: Worry

The greatest joy: Giving

The greatest loss: Self-respect

The most satisfying work: Helping others

The ugliest personality trait: Selfishness

The most endangered species: Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resources: Our youth

The greatest “shot in the arm”: Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome: Fear

The most effective sleeping pill: Peace of Mind

The most crippling failure disease: Excuses


The most powerful force in life: Love

The most dangerous pariah: A gossiper

The world’s most incredible computer: The brain

The worse thing to be without: Hope

The deadliest weapon: The tongue

The two most power-filled words: “I can”

The greatest asset: Faith

The most worthless emotion: Self-pity

The most beautiful attire: A smile

The most prized possession: Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication: Prayer

The most contagious spirit: Enthusiasm

Ernesto Cole

Attitude

What kind of attitude do you have? Do you complain? Are you a complainer - a gossip? What should you do? Read more from Ernesto Cole.

1. It is the attitude at the beginning of a task which more than anything else will affect its successful outcome or failure.


2. It is our attitude towards life which will determine life’s attitude towards us.


3. We are interdependent and will not succeed without others. Therefore our attitude toward them will determine their attitude toward us.


4. Before a person can achieve the type of life he wants he must first become that type of individual. He must think, act, walk, talk, and conduct himself in all his affairs just as the person he wishes to become.


5. The higher you go in any organization the better the attitudes you will find.


6. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time and since you cannot gain anything from negative thoughts—hold only successful positive thoughts and discard the rest.

7. The deepest craving of any human being is to feel important and appreciated. Give this to them and they will return it to you.


8. Part of a good attitude is to look for the best in new ideas an to look for the good ideas everywhere.


9. Don’t waste your time broadcasting personal problems—negative thoughts can’t help you and they won’t help others.


10. Don’t talk about your health unless it’s good—or if you’re talking to your doctor!


11. Radiate the attitude of well-being and confidence, like one who knows where he is going—and good things will happen to you straight away.


12. For the next 30 days treat everybody you come into contact with as the most important person in the world.

 


“It’s not what happens to me in life, it’s how I react to it.”

Ernesto Cole

Maxims To Live By

Wisdom from Within - by Ernesto Cole - Words and thoughts to live by with motivation and inspirtation for success and making the most of life.

1 You will always tend to see whatever it is you’re looking for. Your thoughts create your reality.

 

2. Deep inside we all want to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, and live happy… That is our essence.

 

3. Many of us spend so long pretending to be whatever it is that we’re pretending to be, that we lose focus of our true selves… The more energy we put into developing that mask, the more convinced we become of it.

4. Well-being is not is not the fruit of something you do, it is the essence of who you are. There’s nothing you need to change, do, be, or have in order to be happy.

5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the grounds upon which I stand.


6. Financial security doesn’t come from the amount of money you currently have; It comes from your ability to get more of it whenever you want.


7. Master the art of serving other and you will service your financial future. In this sense, money is just a measure of the difference you’re making in the world.


8. The problem cannot be solved with the same level of thinking that created it.


9. Your thoughts have no power, it is only when you invest your energy and consciousness into them that they begin to become real.


10. Life begets life, energy begets energy, it is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.


11. You don’t get what you deserve in life, you get what you negotiate.


12. Anywhere there’s a positive difference to be made, there’s money to be made. If you can’t (or won’t) make a difference, you’re unlikely to make very much money.


13. There are three essential motivations for anything and everything we do: Desperation (I have to), rationalization (I should), and inspiration (I want to).


14. I have my own version of an optimist: If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll make through another door or I’ll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.


15. The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.


16. Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing, that we see too late the one that is open.


17. Whatever has or hasn’t happened to you is in the past. The past does not equal the future. What matters most right now is your present-moment energy. You can direct your focus and language to create an amazing life.


18. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to proceed in the face of it.


19. There is no disguise which can hide love for where it exists, or simulate where it does not.


20. Coward, one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.


21. Fools are without numbers.

22. To profit from good advice requires as much wisdom as to give it.


23. Measure not men by Sundays, without regarding what they did all week before.


24. When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.


25. A good word is an easy obligation. but not to speak ill, requires silence, which costs us nothing.


26. Try to leave the earth a better place than when you arrived.


27. Question: Do you know what the death rate around here is? Answer: One per person.


28. There is never enough “I love you”


29. ’Tis better than a man’s words, that another man’s words should praise him.


30. A warning given by an experienced person to someone willing to listen is more valuable that jewelry made of the finest gold.


31. While it is wise to learn from experience, it is wiser to learn from the experiences of others.


32. There’s not enough time in this life to learn by trial and error. Therefore, we must learn from the life lessons and experiences of one another.


33. If you have a bowl of murky water and want to make it clear, what would you do?

Ernesto Cole

The Sculptor’s Attitude

What kind of day are you going to have? How you think dictates your day - read how to have a better attitude - by Ernesto Cole.

I woke up early today excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.

I have responsibilities to fulfill today that are important.

My job is to choose what kind of day I’m going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy… or I can be thankful the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money… or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health… or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up… or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because the roses have thorns… or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends… or I can excitedly embark upon a guest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work… or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school.. or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have housework to do… or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided me shelter for my mind, body, and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am—the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a great day… unless you have other plans.

Ernesto Cole

The Lion and the Fox

Fox and the Lion Fable Story Parable - Ernesto Cole - Wisdom From Within

The Lion and the Fox

A man was walking through the woods outside his home one day when he came across a hungry fox who seemed to be at death’s door.

Because he was a kind man, he thought to bring it some food.

But, before he could go back to his home, he heard a fearsome roar and hid behind a tree.

In seconds, a mountain lion appeared, dragging the carcass of its freshly caught prey.

The lion ate its fill and then wandered off, leaving the remains for the grateful fox.

The man was overwhelmed by this example of an abundant and benevolent universe and decided that he wouldn’t return to his home or his job.

Instead working hard to provide for himself, he would follow the example of the fox and allow the universe to provide for him.

Needless to say, the fox wandered off, and as days turned into weeks, the man himself was hungry and at death’s door.

Despite his best efforts to retain his faith, he was becoming desperate.

In a rare moment of inner quiet, he heard the still, small voice of his own wisdom, “Why have you sought to emulate the fox instead of the lion?”

With that, the man returned home and ate his fill.

Lion and the Fox fable, parable - abundance, wealth, provisions - Wisdom From Within - Ernesto Cole

Ernesto Cole

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